I feel like this is my four millionth post about my job. If you don’t know me, you might think my job is all I do. A year ago you would have been mostly right and, although this post is another job story, I promise that subsequent updates will involve humorous vignettes from my social life. After all, having a life was the main reason for my migration last August and for the major overhaul I undertook in an effort to make my existance into something I actually enjoyed. I’m just saying that I actually do have a life that doesn’t involve my job.
Onto the point of the post…Last week was National Volunteer Week. Since employee engagement is a major part of my job it was a fairly big deal for me. In past years, employees arrived at work one day to find a postcard on their desk enlightening them on some important statistics and encouraging them to volunteer. Maybe it’s only me, but reading about volunteerism doesn’t exactly strike me as a great way to live out one of the company’s major mission components - “we will seek to make a difference in our communities.”
Since 2008 marks the beginning of my reign, I decided that if some of our employees wouldn’t go and volunteer, I would would bring volunteerism to them. With the help of a committee of employees dedicated to community engagement, I developed a series of projects that would occur in various buildings on Monday through Thursday. The week would culminate in our annual awards ceremony recognizing the efforts of some top volunteers.
My week looked something like the following. If it looks long, hang in there. It is kind of humorous.
Monday: Employees make Treasure Balls and Pebble Poetry for United Way partner agencies. If you are like everyone else, you are asking yourself, “What’s a treasure ball and why would you need pebble poetry?” Had I thought these questions through more thoroughly when the committee member suggested it, you might not be reading about them now.
In essence, treasure balls are a mixture of used coffee grinds, sand, salt, flour and water (providing the coffee grounds aren’t dripping of course) that you mix together and form into a ball. Then you wrap a small, inexpensive toy in plastic wrap, use your thumb to make an indentation in the mixture, place the toy inside and cover it with the mixture so that it forms a ball. When the mixture dries out, it is really hard and apparently small children enjoy the process of breaking them open and finding the surprise. It’s kind of like a Cracker Jack box I guess, only much messier and you definitely wouldn’t want to eat a treasure ball.
Thinking about it like that, it seems like an okay project. However, you have to consider what I had to do to get the ingredients to make them. First, I had to request that the cafeteria save all of their coffee grounds for me. To explain why I needed them, I had to talk excitedly about National Volunteer Week and explain the treasure ball concept. Frankly, even after I explain it most people are still confused. Too bad I couldn’t just show them this post.
The end result of my request was a five gallon bucket full of used grounds with three inches of actual coffee on top. Keep in mind that I had to transport the coffee grounds to different buildings, so I had to divvy the bucket contents in to several smaller containers. Seemingly that is not big deal, but have you ever tried to get at least four gallons of wet coffee grounds out of a bucket and into a Gladware container? Let me tell you that you don’t just pour them out. In the end I had to go and request a slotted spoon so that I could scoop out the coffee grounds, further instilling the believe that I am completely insane in the cafeteria staff. Then there is the sand. I made a trip to Lowes on Sunday afternoon to pick up the items I needed. I didn’t realize that a tiny bag of sand could weigh 50 pounds. I felt like a major wuss because it was all I could do to pick it up from the bottom of the cart to load it in the Middle Age Mobile’s trunk.
Of course, the best part about this experience is the “That’s-disgusting-I’m-not-putting-my-hands-in-that-Are-you-crazy” look that the employees give you when you explain the project to them.
Then there is pebble poetry. The concept here is pretty simple. You write letters, numbers, punctuation marks and small works on pebbles with permanent markers and then varnish them. They are used to promote literacy efforts with young children. They can write simple words or a poem or a story etc. Sounds much easier than a treasure ball right? If you said “yes” you would be horribly incorrect. As it turns out, you can in fact buy pebbles in a bag at Lowes. However, much like the sand, the bag of rocks weighs 50 pounds and it probably has a small hole in it that will allow tiny, tiny pebbles to fall out in your car. Then there is the problem that rocks don’t come clean. As a matter of fact, when you remove them from the bag they seem much dirtier than any rock you’ve ever picked up off a gravel road. You can’t very well write on and varnish dirty rocks, so you have to wash them. Since you took the trouble to haul all 50 pounds of rocks into your office at the same time as the 50 pounds of sand and numerous Target bags (that were conveniently dumped on the ground next the the five-gallon bucket of coffee grounds in your cube), you don’t want to carry them back out to your car so that you can wash them at home and avoid having people stare at you. Instead, you fill up some containers with water and haul the rocks out to the dining patio outside the cafeteria and wash them there. By this point, the cafeteria staff is considering calling someone because not only are you apparently crazy, you are now armed with rocks. A small rock can do some major damage - just ask Goliath.
You then need to load up your pathetic, wimpy cart and haul your supplies out to your car to transport them to the project location. Keep in mind that by then I was kind of hot from hauling around the rocks and sand and it was windy outside. Consequently, my hair was hanging in my face and I resembled Cousin It. What can I say? It adds to the “Crazy Community Relations Lady” reputation I’m developing.
Tuesday: A repeat of Monday, except it with a new group of employees to convince that you are not insane.
Wednesday: Finally, a project besides treasure balls and pebble poetry! On Wednesday, employees are scheduled to stuff bags with hygiene products for kids at local elementary schools. This is a great project to promote the needs of some kids living in our community. Of course, to get the items to the volunteer site, you have to spend an irritatingly large amount of time on the phone with the twelve-year-old that the agency hired to coordinate this project. Then, you have to arrange to get those items to the site along with the treasure balls and pebble poetry of course. However, it was popular and on one was grossed out by it.
Thursday: The piece de resistance of National Volunteer Week occurs today! Employees can come down to the down to the cafeteria to stuff backpacks with food for kids on the free lunch program to eat over the weekend. For these kids, it might be the only food they have from lunch on Friday to breakfast on Monday. The agency Executive Director attends and you corner your CEO while he is trying to eat lunch and convince him that he needs to stuff a backpack with food for hungry children. Although he is somewhat startled, he complies because you are a crazy person and it is easier to agree than argue.
Friday: Friday morning started nice and early since I had to prepare for an 8 AM awards ceremony complete with gifts, certificates, outside guests and food. I made it through and was eagerly anticipating the weekend. It had been a long week of hauling heavy objects and maintaining an extra perky demeanor. Before I could go home, I just had one last object to get out of my car - the company mascot costume. Lucky me, I get to manage “Blue’s” schedule. Since he made an appearance at a walk event the previous weekend, he was stuffed back into his huge carrying bag and kept in my backseat.
As I made my way into the building doing my best to keep the mascot from dragging on the ground, I ran into the lady who runs the cafeteria (and secured my coffee grounds). She studied me with great seriousness and then said, “You’re always hauling something.”
Yes folks, at the end of the day, to some people I am just the person who is always hauling something. What I had to remind myself about as I finished my trek into the building is that to a few select individuals, I am also the one who made their work day a little different and hopefully opened their eyes to real needs in our community (and of course the fine art of treasure ball making). I’ll take it.
